There’s no denying you got off to a great start as the Detroit Pistons President of Basketball Operations. Your swift ascent from ex-athlete to sports exec god was, well, messianic. No, you never turned water into wine, but you did trade a perpetually injured Grant Hill for the unheralded duo of Ben Wallace and Chucky Atkins (who you eventually traded for Rasheed Wallace). Pretty close. You assembled a team of scrappers (dare I say, “in your image”) and led them to the promised land. For this, I will always be grateful.
But in recent years, you’ve fallen on hard times and yesterday you fired head coach Michael Curry. I’ll let others debate the merits of that decision. The reason I am writing you now is to tell you that your next decision should not be up for debate.
You must hire Bill Laimbeer.
I know what you’re thinking. “Hire Laimbeer? My whining, flopping ex-teammate whose only coaching experience is with a women’s team?!”